Renowned climate expert, David Suzuki advanced climate technology on Canada Day. Asked about his new methodology, he responded, “Nature knows what nature knows.”
He plans on furthering his scientific strides exponentially in the coming months and years with other seemingly unconventional processes. In an effort to promote a healthy nature eco-sphere, he will be going through the exhaustive process of leaving oil spill tar laden water fowl under his pillow so the tooth fairy can work her magic.
Suzuki is also looking to work with controversial billionaires such as Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. He has strongly urged both of them to secure one-way rocket trips into the great beyond, with the conclusion the planet would be better off without them.
Canadians are answering the call by agreeing to turn down their air conditioning for 15 minutes every day and cutting back showers to 45 minutes.
Toronto mayor Olivia Chow is also doing her part by handing out water bottles filled with unfiltered Lake Ontario water. In her words, “If it’s good enough for the rusty tires and discarded bodies, it’s good enough for Torontonians.”
